A Brief Overview of Non- Monogamy
Exploring Alternative Relationship styles with Leanne Yau aka Poly Philia: Part 1
On a steamy evening in late July, hundreds of curious hunnies packed into The Yard theatre to hear Leanne Yau of the Poly Philia blog delve into the discourse surrounding non-monogamy.
Leanne led us through an interactive workshop covering everything from reasons for the increasing popularity of ENM, to common misconceptions and coping with jealousy. Over the coming weeks, we'll be sharing a brief glimpse of some of the most valuable insights gleaned.
First up; the rising appeal and advantages of tailoring your relationships to how you want them to look.
Why has non-monogamy become more prevalent today?
The pandemic played a pivotal role in the growth of non-monogamy. During the isolation years, loneliness became the norm for many as we grappled with the vulnerability of human life and connection. After coming out of lockdowns there was a thirst for community and exploring different ways of finding it. People began to embrace a seize the day mentality, wondering “is there more I can be getting from life?”
Alongside this, we’ve seen more awareness of queer and kink dynamics in recent times. These communities typically challenge societal norms and perceptions of relationships, which has paved the way for non-monogamy to slowly gain more visibility.
As the concept of non-monogamous relationships gains greater momentum the dating app landscape is evolving to accommodate diverse preferences and foster meaningful connections.
What are the benefits?
According to Leanne (and members of the audience), some of the core motivations behind exploring alternative relationships styles include;
Flexibility: Rather than following societal norms without question, you get to customise and tailor your relationship agreements to what works best for you. Non-monogamy empowers individuals to adapt their relationships to meet evolving needs, suit their lifestyles and lessen expectations and pressure on one partner. To put in context, rather than ending a relationship if you change as a person, non-monogamous individuals can have their changing needs met elsewhere while maintaining existing links, as long as they are still compatible in other ways and the parties both find the relationship rewarding.
Freedom of Connection: Whether driven by unfulfilled desires or residing in different parts of the world, non-monogamy allows individuals to explore multiple sexual and romantic connections, and all that they might have to offer. Possessiveness is not enforced in the same way as monogamous structures.
Deepening Platonic Love: Related to freedom of connection, non-monogamous relationships can not only enhance sexual/romantic connections, but also platonic ones. This is because the expansiveness of non-monogamy provides more space for non-normative expressions of affection and intimacy without having to worry about crossing the boundaries of a monogamous relationship.
It’s what works most naturally for some bisexual or pansexual folk: To be clear, there are many people attracted to multiple genders who are happy in monogamous relationships. However, bisexuals are overrepresented in the non-monogamous community. This is likely because in monogamy, it can feel as if your sexuality outside of your existing relationship is no longer relevant. Non-monogamy can allow you to remain connected to your own sexuality with the option to experience all facets of it, rather than what might be provided by a single partner.
Autonomy in Relationships: Challenging the conventional model where individuals are often expected to merge into a singular unit, non-monogamy fosters individuality and can allow people to maintain a greater level of independence and more easily find a balance between their own needs and their partners’ needs.
Stay tuned for the next instalment where we debunk some of the most common misconceptions surrounding non-monogamy.
Follow @joyride.rave on Instagram for details of our upcoming workshops.